Strippers vs Werewolves (Blu-Ray) Review
Kalvin Martinez / Oct 15th, 2012 No Comments
Strippers vs Werewolves is a 2012 horror-comedy directed by Jonathan Glendening. Glendening has a background directing genre films mainly focusing in horror as his previous two films S.N.U.B! and Night Wolf were also horror movies. The film stars Adele Silva as Justice, Ali Bastian as Dani, Barbara Nedeljakova as Raven, Simon Phillips as Sinclair, Billy Murray as Ferris and Sarah Douglas as Jeanette. The film also features an appearance by Robert Englund as Tapper. Well Go USA released the film on Blu-Ray and DVD on September 25, 2012.
Strippers vs Werewolves is a simple story of girl meets boy and the girl is lying about being a stripper and the boy is lying about being a werewolf. It is a tale as old as the medium of storytelling. That is in medias res though; the film starts during 1984 in Basildon by showing a strip club called $ilvaDollaz. All the viewer gets to know about $ilvaDollaz is that it exists in this movie for a few seconds then promptly explodes. As the story moves to London in 2011, “Hungry like the Wolf” plays as the lead protagonist, Justice, gives a private dance to a terribly horny and rapacious man. As the dance gets sexier, the man cannot contain himself and he rushes Justice. When Justice turns to find see the man running toward her, he is no longer a man at all, he is a werewolf! Scared and running on adrenaline, Justice stabs the werewolf in the eye with a pen killing him dead. This accidental murder sets off the eventual war that causes these strippers to have to face down a rabid gang of werewolves. For anyone that ever wanted to see a man eat a severed hand between two slices of wheat bread, or a stripper do metallurgy turning melted silver into six-inch heels, then you are finally in luck because those two things actually happen in Stripper vs Werewolves!
[adsense250itp]While built as a horror-comedy, the movie is not quite funny or scary, except for veiled attempts at both. Each attempt comes from the most obvious sources. Mainly the horror comes from the presence of werewolves and the comedy comes mainly from a sight gag of what happens when rigor mortis settles into a corpse of a horny werewolf. The pacing is tedious with romantic subplots that are dropped in and end up being contrived and difficult to sit through. It takes about forty-five minutes to an hour before the worlds of werewolf and stripper meet. Only about fifteen minutes of the hour and a half run time follows up on the promise of strippers fighting werewolves. This is the essential problem of movies where X thing fights thing Y; the set up usually takes up the entirety of the movie and the plodding journey to the eventual battle is so soul sucking that even if strippers fighting the werewolves was the best thing since Citizen Kane, it still would hardly seem worth it. Unfortunately, that is not the case here, the fight choreography and nature of the final battle is poorly set up, composed and paced. Thus, it all feels pretty muddled and forgettable. The acting is not horrible, but the script is so blasé that any decent acting here is wasted on material that most actors or actresses would be hard pressed to elevate. There is one bright spot and that is Simon Phillips as Sinclair, a bumbling vampire hunter/occultist who delivers the only laughs in the movie and is responsible for the final turn in the film that is legitimately worth watching.
The extra features are sparse on this Blu-Ray disc. It features a commentary track with producers Jonathan Sothcott and Simon Phillips. For anyone who wants more details about how they filmed some of the shots or how they got funds for filming or who played the most pranks on set or how terrible craft services were, that should be worth watching the film again. There is also a “Behind the Scene” featurette. The segment is very short, and mainly features short clips of cast/crew interviews talking about how quickly it had to be shot and how crazy the script was and why they just had to be involved in this magnum opus of a film. The cast/crew’s enthusiasm for the film is infectious, but if the viewer watches it after watching the movie then it ends up being fairly depressing if they did not enjoy the film, because the staff’s excitement for the movie seems genuine.
Audio & Video Quality
The disc features dts-HD Master Audio and 5.1 HD Surround Sound. The audio is pretty crisp and clear and makes for a solid listening experience. It features HD quality video, but unfortunately, since the film is not especially remarkable visually, it does not make a huge difference from DVD quality. The disc features no subtitles or other audio languages, so the hearing impaired or anyone who does not speak English is out of luck for some Stripper vs Werewolf action.
Ultimately, the problem with doing neo-exploitation films that are meant to be B movies, but don’t feel like B movies, is that unless the people involved in making the genre exploration have an intense love for the material then the film will end up just being bad. The Grindhouse double bill missed the mark by feeling too bloated and not quite getting that exploitation feel. Whereas Machete, Hobo with a Shotgun and Black Dynamite (among others) all channel the B movie feel, their campiness turns that into something more; they are elevated while also being faithful genre pieces. However, that does not happen here. Strippers vs Werewolves simply feels like a decent premise that lacks any real thought on how to pull it together into a cohesive film that nails that B movie vibe while still being compelling.
tags: Blu-Ray , Comedy , horror , Movie , review , Strippers vs Werewolves