Destiny’s Skill-Based Matchmaking System Defies Logical Thinking, Works Perfectly for One Locale (SATIRE)
Michael Mays / Feb 25th, 2016 3 Comments
In a fortunate turn of events for Bungie, it has been discovered that almost all top tier Destiny PvP players reside in one county in Nebraska.
Many players bemoaned the decision to switch the matchmaking system to skill-based as opposed to location-based due to the fact that connection issues were already quite prevalent in the Crucible. However, upon finding out that 98 percent of the truly adept PvP players on Destiny reside in Cherry County, Neb., the realization is beginning to set in for many that Bungie, as always, was right on the mark with their decision making.
“Honestly, I was really relieved when I discovered that all those players were grouped in the same region,” Cortana Spartan, Bungie developer, said. “We just sort of fly by the seat of our pants here at Bungie. Sometimes we even spin a giant wheel that makes our decisions for us.”
In addition to making those at Bungie happy, the aforementioned residents of Cherry County could also not be more thrilled that they get the competitive challenge they have been craving AND a super reliable connection.
“If there are two things that we’re about here, it’s husking corn and playing some lag-free Crucible,” Cherry County resident T. Boone Jimboy said. “And as for the competitive fairness, we take two kinds of fields very seriously here: corn fields and level playing fields.”
While this top tier only represents 0.1 percent of the total amount of players who play competitive multiplayer on Destiny, Bungie is confident that this will incentivize players to take their game to the next level while also encouraging other local players to step it up.
“If you keep working towards elite status in the Crucible, who knows?” encouraged Spartan. “The next town with a great connection could be yours.”
On a serious note, Bungie’s decision to continue to implement a skill-based matchmaking system in Crucible is mind-boggling to say the least. As yours truly illustrated a few months ago with a video of a Trials of Osiris match, the connection on Destiny already left quite a bit to be desired. It’s no secret that Destiny’s popularity is currently waning, so Bungie is going to have to start making some better moves if they hope to win back fans and maintain the ones they already have.
tags: Bad Decisions , Crucible , destiny