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Greg’s Cheers to Gaming: Beerio Kart

/ Aug 13th, 2014 No Comments

Beerio Kart

Throughout time, man has pondered ways to make videogames more enjoyable. Like most things, alcohol was the answer. Greg’s Cheers to Gaming is a series of pieces in which editor Greg Johnson combines gaming with alcohol to make an even more interesting game.

Mario Kart, in any iteration, is a test of friendships. But it can also quickly devolve into one of the most interesting videogame related drinking games ever concocted. For this particular lesson in inappropriate alcohol consumption, we will explore Beerio Kart, an adult version of Mario Kart 64. However, let it be known that all entries in the series are entirely suitable for this drinking videogame.

Drivers, Start Your Engines

The rules of Mario Kart are simple and well known. Like any other race, players must beat other drivers, but there are a wide variety of collectible items that allow players to both hinder other racers as well as enhance their own vehicle.

What better way to quench one's thirst in the desert than an ice cold beer!

What better way to quench one’s thirst in the desert than an ice cold beer?

The game itself is only as difficult as the players one chooses to race against (unless of course you’re racing against the cheating POS that is the game’s A.I. in one of the solo grand prix tournaments).

Never Drink and Drive

The drinking game version of Mario Kart 64 is called Beerio Kart, aptly named due to the drink that the game is played with. In addition to a controller, each player must have a beer in order to play. The object of the game is simple: finish the beer before you finish the race. Any player who does not finish their beer before finishing the race is disqualified.

Not exactly pulled over, but close enough right?

Not exactly pulled over, but close enough right?

There are different rule variations when playing Beerio Kart. In the non-drinking and driving method, drinking and driving is illegal. You may be able to hit opponents with shells but, you must pull over to the side of the road and stop completely in order to begin drinking.

The other variation is the drink and drive scenario in which all players must have their beer in hand until it is finished, a far worse message to send out, but a far more interesting game to be played.

The Beer Drinker’s Techniques

For both the “legal” and “illegal” versions of Beerio Kart, the best technique is the simplest: chug your beer before you go. It’s that simple, those who are able to chug their beers right away have a huge advantage over players who milk their beer like the prize heifer it is.

One beer is all it takes to attempt defying gravity.

One beer is all it takes to attempt to defy gravity.

Where technique really matters is in the illegal verison of the rules in which players have to somehow both drive their kart while also holding their beer. If players are unable to simply chug their beer from the get go, there are three methods to holding the beer that will can still lead to victory:

  • Simply steer with one hand, using your finger to direct and thumb to accelerate.
  • Hold the beer on top of the controller so that both hands are gripping the beer and controller simultaneously.
  • Or simply be a show off and hold the beer by its neck in your mouth for the duration taking swigs and chugs as necessary.

Crash and Burn

Although Mario Kart 64 is fun to play regardless, Beerio Kart provides a great setting in which to loosen up new friends and share a love of gaming, or just simply a love of beer. Beer can be substituted with other forms of alochol, but beer won’t hit most people as hard as hard liquor or even wine. Using beer and well-timed consumption guarantees the contest will last throughout multiple matchups.

However, let the arrogant drinker be warned, even the stoutest of stomachs will begin to feel the effects of Beerio Kart after a few rounds should proper pacing not be implemented. While gamers remain stationary while playing Beerio Kart, the constant movement of the screen will not help settle stomachs hearty or otherwise.


Greg Johnson

Greg Johnson

Associate Editor at Gaming Illustrated
Greg is a Nintendo fanboy who would cry if they ever went third party. He writes news, previews and reviews at Gaming Illustrated.
Greg Johnson

Latest posts by Greg Johnson (see all)

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