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5 Things That Will Suffer Once Fallout 4 is Released

/ Sep 23rd, 2015 1 Comment

Bethesda E3 2017 Press Conference

Fallout 4‘s November 10 release date is fast approaching, so it’s time for us to face a truth that some may be overlooking. That truth is that we’re all going to be spending an insane amount of time playing this game. To make sure we are prepared, we must accept that certain sacrifices must be made in the name of bringing our own unique brand of destruction to the wasteland of Boston, and some mundane things may suffer due to those sacrifices. Here are the top five things that will suffer once Fallout 4 has us under its spell:

5. Hygiene

Ghoul_scientist

Mirror mirror on the wall…

Do you remember when you were spending all that time playing Fallout 3 and your apartment began to smell like a nuclear holocaust? Well, get the Febreze ready because Bethesda’s Jeff Gardiner claims that Fallout 4 will feature well over 400 hours of content in store for post-apocalyptic enthusiasts.

Try not to feel self-conscious as those five-o-clock shadows turn into midnight forests and the chip crumbs on your shirt become the foundation of a tiny insect civilization. This is what the hardcore gamers call immersion.

4. Personal Relationships

Fallout 4

Things will never be the same.

In the Fallout games, you are usually limited to one human companion at a time. In real life, you’ll be lucky to have that with all the time you’ll be spending in the wastelands of Boston. It’s time to separate your true friends from those who would take you away from your showdowns with raiders, mutants or maybe even Gary clones to “get some sunshine” or “report to your job” because, let’s be honest, you don’t need those kind of people in your life.

3. Time with Other Games

witcherfallout

Geralt will understand.

If you’re like me, you have a backlog of games that could keep you busy for months. Well, it’s time to put them off a little while longer because you’re about to be far too busy exploring every inch of post-apocalyptic Boston. Geralt and Punished Snake are very tough guys and are more than capable of holding down the fort until you can return to them. Your Madden Connected Franchise team is screwed, though. What were you thinking taking Andre Johnson in the first round of that fantasy draft? This isn’t 2008.

2. Eating Habits

cannibal2

Eating habits.

You know a game is good when you can sit back, enjoy the ride and stuff your face full of the greasiest, least healthy food imaginable. You know a game is really REALLY good when you go on an accidental hunger strike while playing it. I lost 30 pounds playing Bioshock Infinite. I ended up beating the game with an IV in my arm. With the release of Fallout 4, I am planning to look like Christian Bale in The Machinist by the time I’m done.

1. Family Obligations

Growing_Up_Fast

The cake is not a lie.

Ask yourself this question: Is going to your grandmother’s birthday party on the Fallout 4 trophy list on your PlayStation 4? How about your achievement list on Xbox One or Steam? No? Well then, this is not what I would refer to as a “tough decision.” Grandma had plenty of birthdays that you weren’t there for, so get back on the game before that you-sized impression in the couch returns to normal.

 

Michael Mays

Michael Mays

Michael Mays graduated from Concord University with a B.A. in both Sociology and History with an emphasis in Philosophy before moving on to obtain his M.S. in Criminal Justice. Realizing that these degrees and six figures of crippling debt only made him roughly three nightly Jeopardy answers better, he decided it was time to pursue his lifelong passion... competitive snorkeling. That didn't work out, so now he writes about video games.

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One response to “5 Things That Will Suffer Once Fallout 4 is Released”

  1. Christopher Lyons says:

    Or maybe theres a wedding a few days after release that needs to be attended.

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